Remember Captain Koons from Pulp Fiction? He was the guy played by Christopher Walken who visits a young Butch Coolidge (Bruce Willis) to give him a watch that Butche’s departed father wanted him to have. He says to Butch:
The way your dad looked at it, this watch was your birthright. He’d be damned if any of the slopes were gonna get their greasy yellow hands on his boy’s birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you.
Well, now that some of the Republican fundraising numbers are in, John McCain is looking more and more like Captain Koon. CNN reports that Sen. John McCain of Arizona has only managed to muster $12.5M, while the other front-runners Republican Mitt Romney and former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani have raised $23M and $15M respectively.
Although this puts Romney almost on par with Hillary Clinton’s $26 M, Giuliani has raised 10 of that 15 million in the last month alone. McCain is pretty much fucked, then. Even though his campaign manager:
Terry Nelson, said in a statement: “Fundraising in the first quarter is no more important than fundraising throughout the entire primary election campaign.”
That sounds real nice, but if there’s any hunks of metal up your ass there, John, this might be the time to cash them in.
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