Our forefathers were people of substance like Paul Revere and Abraham Lincoln, and they threw shindigs like Boston Tea Party. What do we do? We get fat and drunk and make videos like this. It’s kind of like what would happen if Monteczuma’s Revenge was driven by user-generated-content: now that we’ve killed off all the Indians, there’s no one left to feed the firewater to and scalp except for ourselves.
Well, at least we licked those smallpox. Now it’s just those Herpes and AIDS we have to watch out for. Maybe if we’re lucky, some pale-faces will come along and take all our land so that we’ll actually have something to accomplish again.
Video via Drunken Stepfather
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