Living the American Dream

by Kris Romaniuk October 5, 2010

The Vice UK blog has a spread by Steve Sachs called Living the American Dream. For some reason, it reminds me of Zombieland in a way that I dont’ quite understand.

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Self Phone Culture

by Kris Romaniuk March 4, 2010

I hate cell phones. They’re a symptom of everything that’s wrong in America, like the rib cracking cough that’s makes pneumonia so much more insufferable than the flu. Fuck you, I don’t need you. There’s someone else, somewhere else, and they’re more important than you. I don’t need you. I am connected. I can talk [...]

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A Matter of Conscience

by Kris Romaniuk March 4, 2010

I found out this morning that someone I worked with is dead. He didn’t come to work yesterday and no one could get in touch with him, so some people went by his place to check on him. They found him face down in his pillow. He was 26. He was 26 and now he’s [...]

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Digging Up Your Own Grave

by Kris Romaniuk February 3, 2010

It’s bad news all over, for the left and the right. Democracy and the markets are taking a thrashing, and the bodies are piling up. It’s starting to stink, and we can use some graves, but there aren’t many real journalist left to do the digging. They’ve all either been laid-off or bought-out, and a [...]

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Truth, Art, and Advertising

by Kris Romaniuk September 20, 2009

Just because something is creative, that doesn’t make it art. To be art, something needs to capture a bit of truth. That’s why I could never make it as a writer, or any other kind of artist: I’ve never been able to stomach the truth. But it’s also why I make a half-decent ad-hack: I’m [...]

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Puff the Magic Dragon

by Kris Romaniuk September 17, 2009

His head was bent in sorrow, green scales fell like rain, Puff no longer went to play along the cherry lane. I just found out that Mary Travers of Peter, Paul, and Mary died today. And I’m not taking it very well. I’m not a Peter, Paul, and Mary fan, and before tonight, I wouldn’t [...]

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Unmarried with Children

by Kris Romaniuk September 11, 2009

My buddy just got out of a relationship. He needs a wingman, but can’t find one. One of his best friends has the mind of a freshman, and I’m “married with children. Most men who are married with children don’t go out drinking on a work night. Many of them never go out drinking at [...]

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The Spectator Generation.

by Kris Romaniuk August 29, 2009

Do you ever think that you’re living through history? That you’re watching it go down in realtime? The last of the Kennedy’s is dead. The last of a democratic trinity. We’ve closed a chapter in the American Dream that was never realized… that was never really finished… What can our generation really boast? A black [...]

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Shadow dance, look at me

by Kris Romaniuk June 2, 2009

I was watching a newscast last nigh about GM being broke. The correspondent made some comment about “repairing the American Dream.” My first thought was “Oh shit, if that analogy catches on, maybe I can milk some traffic off of it.” What kind of shit head am I? Families are losing their livelihood and security, [...]

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