Pigskins for Jesus

Turkey on the Rocks

So here’s another Thanksgiving holiday.

You care because today is the biggest shopping day of the year, and it will be followed by 3 days of turkey and football — a game that lets you vicariously pay tribute to one of the biggest founding principles of this great nation: war.

I care because Thanksgiving is the original, all-American holiday — a secular tribute to the first bible-thumping settlers, and anchored in the American traditions of sloth, gluttony and greed.

So here’s to the guns, pigskins, and Jesus. May the next year hold nothing less than Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.

Image via Madtini.com, which has some Thanksgiving cocktail recipes here.